Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
As a nineteen year old seeking direction for my life, I've come to find that there are many crossroads that we are faced with. We all have many options set before us as to who we want to be and where we want to go. We get to decide whether to go to college or not. We decide what job to make our career. Either we can get married or remain single. Life is full of options.
I've always been into having a plan and a goal. I'm not one who enjoys the "we'll see what happens" world. I prefer the "we're going to do this" world much better.
This world worked for me growing up because I could schedule out my days with school work and decide how much I needed to do in order to finish the book by the end of the year. I was able to map out how to graduate a little early, and when I finished one of these goals, I felt very accomplished.
As more time went on, though, and I was out of school, I found that there were things I couldn't make happen on my own. I wasn't able to set a time goal on getting married. I couldn't decide that this year I was going to start a family. There were goals and plans I wanted to make, but there was only so much I could do personally to see these dreams happen. These were the dreams that had to come in God's time and not my own.
Once my goals to graduate, get a job, and finish a semester of college were accomplished, I found that my remaining goals (the ones that are so important to me) were still out of reach, and I needed purpose.
America is famous for the, "What are you going to do?" question. This is an especially popular question when it comes to young adults who are just starting life as an adult.
"You're out of school now, so what are you going to do?"
"You're no longer with so and so; what are you going to do?"
"When you finish that, what are you going to do?"
On and on, the question goes, but the problem I found myself facing was I didn't know what I was going to do. I kept trying to find a path to take, but it was as if I was between the Egyptian army on one side and the Red Sea on the other, and I was being told to be still.
This week, I was praying for God to give me direction. I wanted an attainable goal to go after rather than one that seemed so far out of reach. At least if I went to college, I could map out a plan of how many credits to take and when to graduate. This isn't what God was calling me to do, though. He was calling me to be still. He didn't want me to "do" anything. He wanted me to be still and trust Him.
This was so difficult for me to accept. I didn't want to be still. I wanted to move and "do" something to move me in some type of direction versus staying in the same spot thinking, "Where am I going to go from here?"
As I think about the Israelites right before God made a path for them, though, I realize that they didn't know what they were going to "do" either. They didn't see a path to take. They hit a dead end, and we see how this was going to take a miracle for their deliverance to be possible.
In all honesty, we're always desperate for God, but sometimes we forget that until we don't see any other way.
Finally, I got to the point that I decided people could ask me all they wanted, "Taylor, what are you going to do?" but I now had my answer for them. It's simple. "I'm going to follow God one day at a time wherever He leads me."
"Well, are you going to college?" No, that's not what God has laid on my heart to do.
"Are you looking for a job with full-time hours?" No, I believe I'm where God wants me right now.
"Have you found anyone to marry?" No, but I trust that God will provide when the time is right.
We have to stop leaning on our own understanding and believe that as we trust God with all our hearts and seek His will, He will show us which paths to take.
Dear Heavenly Father,
You know that I would much rather have a goal versus feeling like I had no control. However, in this season of my life, You are teaching me how to release control to You and be still until You make a way. I pray that You'll help me trust You and stop relying on my own understanding. As I seek Your will in all I do, thank You for Your promise to show me which path to take. In Jesus' Name.
Amen.
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