Have you ever been lonely? Perhaps you're there now, and maybe it's left you discouraged.
If so, you've come to the right place.
In the recent weeks, I went from a place where I wasn't lonely to a place that I am incredibly lonely. For a season, I felt like God had blessed me with many, many people to spend time with; but now I'm in a season that seems anything but full of people.
People are busy. They have lives of their own. Those who are my age are going in a million different directions. Some are getting married and starting their own families. Others are going to college, and others have been led into ministry. None of these things are bad, but when you're longing for connection yet find yourself in a place where others aren't on the same path as you, it can be lonely.
There have been some people who joined me on my path and were spending time with me, but I felt God nudge me to not allow those friendships in my inner circle because they were toxic to me. Although they were toxic, they took up time. Now a lonely season is what I've found myself with, and I've been asking God, "What do you want me to do with this time?"
Surely God isn't allowing this season to come for me to cry and wallow in self-pity.
As I see myself struggle through this new season of loneliness, I see that it's difficult. However, I also see that it is a season where I'm clinging onto God more than I was in my season of always having people around me. In these moments of being alone with God, He's encouraging me to make this time count instead of allowing it to be wasted time.
What should we do in these moments and even seasons of loneliness?
Here are a few ideas.
- Make sure you don't miss out on this special time where you get to experience God more fully.
Psalm 27:4 says, "The one thing I ask of the Lord -the thing I seek most- is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections and meditating in his Temple." As I look back at the times in my life where I experienced God the most, it wasn't in my seasons of being surrounded by people. The times I felt God closest to me were in the moments of being alone with Him. Often times those moments were where I was broken, desperate, and longing for connection. He held me tightly and grew our relationship. I know He will do that again in this season.
- Look for ways God wants you to reach out to other people that perhaps you'd pass up if you weren't lonely yourself.
Philippians 2:4 says, "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." When my life is going great and I'm full emotionally, I honestly don't look around that much to see if there's someone I could spend time with who needs a friend. Instead, I go about my life obliviously, not even paying attention to the needs of those around me.
- Don't grow bitter. Allow God to use this time for a good thing instead of being angry that He is allowing you to be lonely right now.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." If you're lonely, odds are when you look at other people who seem to not be lonely you'll have to fight the temptation to be jealous and think that their life is better than yours. I've been looking at Facebook a lot lately, and I notice that I'm longing for connection so much that I'm hoping to find it there. However, instead of finding connection, I'm finding myself looking on in jealousy over other people's lives. I see the people getting engaged and having babies and think how their life must be so much better than mine. As I said before, be careful not to grow bitter. Remember that if God is allowing this season in your life, He will use it for good.
- Lastly, keep in perspective that this is only a season.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Although this season may look as if it will last forever, it really won't. So, make this time count instead of crying over the lonely times.
If you're seeking God and following Him, you're sowing good seeds. You may be sowing them in tears, but you will harvest in shouts of joy. Don't give up. Enjoy this season while it lasts, and when it hurts, remind yourself: It's just for a season.
Dear Jesus,
I've found myself in a season that is lonely. As I look at my life, I see myself longing for connection. What I'm longing for are good, godly relationships with the right people. However, I've found myself having to let go of some people whom You've encouraged me to step back from. This has required me to take a step of faith into a lonely season. Thank You that You are with me always, so even when I feel alone, I'm never truly alone. Help me make this time count and do what it is that You have in store for me to do with this time. In Jesus' Name I pray.
Amen.
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