A God Who Understands

Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Have you ever gone through a time in your life that was difficult? Have you ever felt alone? Broken? Lonely?

Today I found myself in this place. I found myself feeling alone, broken, and lonely. As I long for connection, I found that what I really wanted was someone who wanted to be with me simply because they wanted to spend time with me. I didn't want someone who needed me to "do" something for them. I just wanted someone who enjoyed my company.

This season in my life feels lonely. It's funny how you can be surrounded by a ton of people and be busy as can be yet still be empty inside.

As I poured my heart out to God with tears filling my eyes, he gently spoke to me that He too understands how I feel because He's been there before too.

How could God ever be lonely? He has the entire world full of people!

As I expressed how out of the nearly 300 people I have on my facebook account, I didn't have a response of anyone wanting to go with me today to the beach, God laid this statement on my heart: "I'm reaching out to the entire world pleading with them to draw near to me, yet there are many who don't respond."

As I thought about this, God just made it clear to me that what I'm going through is something He understands. He gets it.

I also cried out to God in my feeling like I was only wanted by people who needed something from me. He laid on my heart my prayer life. I go to God when I need a listening ear. I go to Him when I need healing. I go to Him and complain. It's been a long time since I've gone to Him simply to know more about Who He is and to bask in His presence. I told God how I enjoy all the things I'm doing: working at Big 5 and in the nursery, helping lead worship on Wednesday nights, and leading a Bible study on Sunday nights, but I also wanted people who wanted me when I wasn't just helping in one of those areas. God showed me how although He wants me to come to Him for all things, He wanted me to come to Him even when everything was good. He wants to spend everyday life with me just like I want someone to spend everyday life with me.

What started out as a pity party turned into a revelation about my own relationship with God. I realized through my own feelings of not being wanted simply for me that I hadn't been wanting God simply for Him either. I had been wanting Him for what He could do for me. I wanted Him for His qualities not simply because He is.

Relationships are things we all long for and need desperately. The most important relationship we'll ever have is one with our Heavenly Father. He's longing for a relationship with us. He longs to live everyday life with us... from going to the store to going to the beach. He wants to help us, but He also wants us to simply enjoy His presence.

Thankfully, no matter what anyone else does, God will never fail us. Not too long ago I updated my status on facebook to this, "The One Whom we never have to wait for to show up in our lives: God. Availability: 24/7. Coming from someone who needs constant connection, I'm grateful God is always here with me!" Wherever you're at today, whether you're lonely or spilling over with excitement, God understands and He wants you for you. Lets find rest in that today.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for coming and walking in my shoes so You can truly understand. Thank You for wanting me for me and wanting a real relationship with me. Thank You that You want me to know You for You and that You want to know me for me... not just what I can do for You or what I can get from You. I'm sorry for the times I've made our relationship into a "honey do" list instead. I'm asking You, will You spend today with me? Thank You for always being here. I love You.

Amen.