Stop Running

Jeremiah 2:25, "When will you stop running? When will you stop panting after other gods? But you say, 'Save your breath. I'm in love with these foreign gods, and I can't stop loving them now.'"

Have you ever had a moment with God where He brought a huge breakthrough into your life?

As I write this devotional, my heart is rejoicing in the breakthrough that has taken place inside of me.

For about two and a half months I've been running. I've been chasing after things to fill a hole in my heart that was longing to be filled. It all started when I found myself once again single. I feared so many things. I feared what my tomorrows would look like. I feared I'd be alone forever. I feared I'd chosen to make too many bad decisions to ever have dreams come true in my life. I found myself dealing with a lot of internal struggles. There was loneliness, anger, anxiety, disappointment, and insecurity flaring up inside of me. During this time, God really impressed upon my heart to be still. In some of my recent devotionals I shared how I hadn't been being still. I had tried to get my life going, yet the more I tried to do things my way, the more I found myself frustrated and irritated with life. I began to be discontent with everything. I no longer found joy at my job. I saw the negative in every situation. Life seemed to be a mess.

There were many nights I spent crying myself to sleep. I was so upset that God wasn't doing things my way. After all, what I had in mind seemed like it would make such a grand story. There was a problem, though. I'm not God, and what I wanted wasn't lining up with what He had in store for me.

Weary as I was, I went to God once again with my complaints, and I shared with Him how I felt like I was on a stationary bike. I was peddling hard, but I was just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere it seemed. I wanted off of that bike. I wanted my life to be going somewhere. It was time to no longer be busy 24/7 while still being entirely empty inside.

What was I to do?

Soon after this prayer, God sent a couple people who He spoke to me through. They spoke truth to me and made me evaluate the core issues.

I found that I had been running because I didn't want to face my fears. It was easier to busy my life so much that I didn't have time to think about them than it was to sit down and look them straight on and deal with them.

Finally, though, I was able to face them. What I was running to for fulfillment was becoming my idol. That hole inside my heart needed to be filled with God, but instead I was running to other people and things to distract me. They had become idols in my life.

 Truth be told, only God can fill us and make us whole. All those ugly, broken pieces from our past will keep us in bondage until we face them straight on and stop running from the One Who can restore us.

As I faced my fears and quit running to other sources in an attempt to find ease for my aching heart, I finally found freedom.

My question for you is what are you running from?

My biggest fear was that I'd be alone forever or at least for a long time still. I was in bondage to that fear up until tonight. Tonight I found freedom, though. Tonight was the night that the idols I had made in my life no longer held me in bondage. I was free from them. No longer did I need everything my way to be happy. I finally was able to say, "Okay, God, no matter what happens, I'm resting in You."

I'll end on this note: A revelation God gave me recently was that to be still it doesn't necessarily  mean not having things going on in life. It also means quieting our hearts.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I can clearly see now how I had been running to other things rather than You to find what I needed, and in doing this, I was creating idols. Please forgive me for not going directly to You. Lord, thank You for the breakthrough You've done in my heart. I pray You help me to not run from things but rather be still and face those things with You. Thank You, Lord.

Amen.