Driving home from babysitting the other day, I heard a song on the radio that made me listen intently to the rest of the lyrics. The line that stood out to me was this: "Make me lonely, so I can be Yours."
I remember thinking, "Who would ask to be made lonely?" As I listened to the rest of the song, it talked about asking God to make us broken, empty, and lonely until He is our One desire, our One true love, our breath, and our everything. By the end of the song, I was amazed at the prayer that was prayed through these lyrics.
I went on You Tube and listened to the video where Dave Frey (the person who sings this song) talked about praying scary prayers. He also shared a quote by C.S. Lewis. This quote says this: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
The song I am talking about is called "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets.
I thought about all the times I prayed for God to take away my loneliness. There were so many times that I didn't want God to "make" me. I simply wanted Him to fix my situation and make my life comfortable.
What if our moments of brokenness, emptiness, and loneliness are really blessings in disguise?
It's only in those moments of brokenness that we learn what it's like to experience God being our Comforter. Only when we are empty do we get to find what it's like to be filled to overflowing by God. Only in our moments of loneliness do we finally experience the closeness of God where He satisfies the deepest needs in our heart.
This song touched my heart and made me think that perhaps all the things I pray away or pray to avoid all-together are the things God wants to use for a bigger purpose.
This week, I've been reading in the book of James. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing."
As I look around, I see people trying to get everything they want in hopes of finding happiness. What if the true blessing isn't in getting what we "think" we want but rather in not having what we "think" we want and still being just as happy? What if God's desire is to "make" us rather than it is to "appease" us?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me be bold and pray the scary prayers rather than asking You to make my life cushy and comfortable. Help me live out James 1:2-4 in my life. When I face trials and temptations and difficulties, help me consider it wholly joyful knowing that such things will bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. Remind me that eventually these things will make me into someone who is lacking nothing. Let me not be so concerned with getting things from You or having a comfortable life as I am with being made into who You want me to be. In Jesus' Name.
Amen.
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