The Way He Looks at Me

Psalm 40:1-3, "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord."

Have you ever prayed for something (or someone) for years and felt like you'd prayed the same thing so long that God probably was as tired of hearing it as you were of praying it?

That was me.

If you've followed many of my blog posts or read my book, you probably caught on to the fact that it's been a desire of my heart for a LONG time to have a godly man by my side to one day marry and raise a family with. Most of my devotionals have something shared in them that mentions that desire often.

Today, I'm writing a devotional that still includes that same desire, but this time, I have been given a new song to sing... a hymn of praise to my God.

I was the girl whose whole dream since the time she was 12 was to be a wife and mom. I was the girl who didn't just look for a boyfriend... I was keeping an eye out for my lifetime friend, the man I'd marry, and the man who would be the father of my children.

At first, this seemed like such a simple request, but after years of watching, praying, and hoping, I began to turn into the girl who was cynical and thought maybe my dream was just a little too far out of reach or perhaps just unrealistic altogether.

Was my prayer for a godly man too big of a dream?

I started believing that it was. After one crushed hope after another, it felt like it'd be best to give up altogether on the hope of having someone to share my life with.

Yet, God didn't give up on me even through my unbelief.

This year, God brought a godly man into my life... a man that truly is doing his best to seek and honor Christ with his whole heart, and I can honestly tell you that God not only answered my prayer for a godly man. He gave me more than I could've ever dreamed possible when He gave me Nathan.

It can all be seen in the way he looks at me.

In a world where promiscuity is idolized and purity is degraded, God saved a man for me who tells me weekly (if not daily), "I have eyes for only you, baby!" In a culture where waiting for marriage is considered overrated, God gave me a man who not only values my purity but has conviction about purity himself and refuses to look at me with lust but chooses daily to honor me with love.

The girl who at one point felt like it was a lost cause to keep hoping for a godly man now has a godly man by her side, and it's on my heart to not keep quiet in this season where my world feels like it's all falling into place. That'd be horrible for me to write all these years about me longing for a spouse who loves God and then not shout on the rooftops the miracle God has done in my life and the huge answer to prayer He has given me!

Girls, I'm begging you! Don't settle for less than God's best for you. Don't settle for a man who looks at you with lust rather than with love. Don't buy into the lie that your desire for a godly man is too big of a request for God to honor.

Wait patiently for the Lord and trust that He will turn to you and hear your cry.

Right now, I'm sharing with you the promise land of my story, but trust me when I tell you that it wasn't a breeze to get here. I've been through the lonely nights. I've been through the heartache of finding out someone was a wolf when you momentarily believed they were your prince charming. I've been through thinking that a godly man wouldn't want me because I'm not perfect.

However, at the end of the day, it's not about what we do or do not deserve. It's about the God we serve. He is bigger than us, and if we will wait on Him, He honestly will prove to be faithful every time!

I have a passion to share with girls that they have a God who loves them passionately and perfectly and a God Who has a good plan for their lives. Wait for the man that you can look at and sincerely tell him, "Through the way you love me, I have a better understanding of how Christ loves the church."

Ephesians 5:25-28 says, "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself."

When you have a man who loves you as Christ loves the church, it makes our command in verses 22-24 a privilege instead of a burden:

"For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything."

What God designed is beautiful! His dream is beautiful!

If you're tired of waiting, you're not alone. But my prayer is that you'll draw closer to God in this season of waiting and continue to wait. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5.

Dear Jesus,

As I think back on my own story and all the places You've walked me through, it's on my heart to share with other girls and women, one, that they're not alone and, two, that Your plan is always worth waiting for. I praise You for the season You've brought me to, Lord, and I also praise You for the seasons You walked me through in the previous years of waiting and praying for this day. I pray that many will see what You have done and be amazed and put their trust in You. Let your faithfulness not be something I shrug off, but rather let it be something that is a testimony to others of Who You are. In Jesus' Name.

Amen.