Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone Into the Midst of a Lost and Hurting World

Deuteronomy 31:6, "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Twelve weeks ago, I started college in Lancaster. I had high hopes for my world expanding, and, although I didn't want to go at first, as college came closer, I was excited.

Then I got there...

This wasn't at all what I expected!

As I showed up to my first day, I remember the panic I had when I found out that there were books that I needed to purchase that I was unaware of. I called my mom in tears panicking because I didn't know what I was going to do.

Eventually the newness of college faded, and I was able to go without being out of my comfort zone, but then I struggled with the fact that I was down there for a long time and wasn't really making friends very easily.

I struggled with that for a few weeks until I finally decided to enjoy my life whether I was by myself or in a room full of people.

Now it's been twelve weeks since I've been down there. I have four weeks left, and there have already been so many things that have been brought to my attention. There was the newness of it all which lead me to be grateful for the things in my life that are familiar. I'm much more grateful for my family and for the blessing of living in a small town. This experience also lead me to be more appreciative of my friends. I've come to find the value of real friendship now that I realize that true friends aren't easy to come by. When you have a friend, they are truly a gift from God! God's also helped me realize that I like who He made me to be now, not because of who I am, but because of who I am in Him.

Now what I'm struggling with is the realization of just how dark this world is and how much it is in need of seeing Jesus! There have been a few guys who have asked for my number, and I was flattered in thinking that they were interested in me. Sadly, none of them turned out really being good, strong men of God, and the disappointment I felt lead me to wonder if there were still good people out there. I know that there are, but seeing how dark some people's worlds are, my heart hurt. I was devastated that these people were not truly interested in who I was as much as they were with their selfish intentions.

When I look at the situations where I've seen ugly, I like the idea of curling up in a ball and staying in my own little world of comfort, but I know that God's called me to something higher than that. He's called me to be the light of this world, and I can't do that if I run away from all the darkness I've seen.

Two people at the college came up to me asking if I knew God. I replied saying that I did. Then they proceeded to ask me if I knew "mother god". It was another moment of wondering, "What is this world coming to?"

God has called me to be bold. I'd like to shrink back and run from these "creepy" people, but God has called me to love them. He's called me to be His hands and feet.

Deuteronomy 31:6 talks about not panicking before the things or people we are afraid of. It tells us to be strong and courageous because God will personally go ahead of us, and He will neither fail us nor abandon us.

 Although some of the situations I've experienced in the past 12 weeks have not been the easiest, God has gone ahead of me the entire time. He provided a way for me to get my books and for me to get them in time to not be behind in my classes. He filled the loneliness in my heart and helped me see for the first time in my life that I didn't need to seek fulfillment in anyone or anything but in Him. He truly is enough. What I'm probably the most grateful for is that even though I've been in some potentially scary situations, He has continued to surround me with His angels and keep me safe from the "creeps" I've encountered. All along, even when I couldn't see Him, He was right there by my side. I don't need to run away. I need to be strong and courageous for the next four weeks and realize that God is still by my side with every step I take.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I'm very grateful that You have been with me all along through my entire life. God, college has been a new experience for me, and it's not one that I've particularly enjoyed, but I know that I'm exactly where You want me to be for the moment. Help me, Lord, to be strong and courageous through this journey I'm on with You. Help me not panic before the mountains I face, but rather help me be bold and move forward, knowing that You will never fail me nor abandon me. God, You've opened my eyes to just how lost and hurting this world really is, and it's dark enough that it scares me. Help me not cower, though. Rather, help me be the light of this world that You have called me to be. In Jesus' Name.

Amen.